He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
