Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
