this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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