guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
