I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
