oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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