you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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