You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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