one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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