and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
