'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
