Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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