whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
