I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
