I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize