sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
