Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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