just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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