He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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