I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
