This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
