I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
