she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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