I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
