make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
