we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
