I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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