and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
