im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
