HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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