umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
