Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
