im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
