I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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