We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
