A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
