I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
