3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
