Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
