My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
