1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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