At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How's work?
Spinning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
