She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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