I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
