if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
