she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So squirting runs in the family.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
