i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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