11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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