he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
