Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
