I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
