im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
