dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
