The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
