If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
