Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
