:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
