So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
