its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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