I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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