A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
