I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
