I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So many bounce houses so little time
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
