And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
